Longlegs (2024)
3/10
Wow, this movie was... Something.
You might find that the reviews online are mixed if you go looking for them, this is because this movie's plot truly was not cohesive. From what I've seen, the good reviews are giving five stars for ways they've interpretted the movie, theories they had that were never explicity in this movie. The big key details are that the main character, Lee, is an FBI agent and shes on a case in which she is investigating multiple linked murders, all murders have matching details and are definitely the same person but they haven't found who that was just yet. The murders all has a card written in a code as evidence. Just so I don't give a lot away, essentially they learn more and more about the murders, they find the guy who did it but found out its not just him, he has an acomplice and was using black magic somehow also.
I have so many qualms with this movie, the best part in my opinion was the talented acting and the general visuals. As we watched I couldn't help but pay more attention to the heavy use of aesthetic scenery instead of the actual plot. I tacked off several points because the plot had several inconsistencies and flaws. For example, the antagonist is named Longlegs, and the way they know that is because he signed the cards he left as Longlegs. In one scene he says he "put his long legs on today" and other than those details, its unclear who he is and why hes called Longlegs. After the movie we looked it up and found out that the director himself said it just sounded interesting, as in he didn't name the character like this for any reason other then that it sounded cool. Another plot thing, the murders all are related to the number 14, as in they all happen within a week before or after the 14th and the families murdered all had daughters with birthdays on the 14th. This is fine, I get it, the issue I had was 1, they never explained why the 14th was so specific in this way and 2, the MAIN CHARACTER is a woman whos birthday is THE 14TH. Why in the HELL didn't they establish it immediately, they could have said it way early on but they never did, they only did it as an afterthought later. The main character also has a partner who's daughters birthday is on the 14th too, this guy knew that the murderer got people whos daughters birthdays are on the 14th so why didn't he connect it or do anything?? Honestly theres so many other inconsistencies and weird things about this movie, I don't want to spoil it any more than I have but my general consensus is, don't go into this movie with high expectations.
Terrifier (2016)
8/10
I love gore and horror movies and if you do too, you'd probably like Terrifier. Its a slasher type movie with a recognizable killer and a load of inventive gore but it doesn't have much of a story. If you don't like movies with no story then maybe Terrifier won't be your favorite, but they do elaborate on more things later on in the other movies. Essentially, this movie has a story that takes place on Halloween night where some drunk girls are going to a diner and trying to get home but a certain overly emotive, mute clown named Art, has plans to kill them. I honestly dont think theres much else to the story, he follows them and intends to torture and kill them.
I took off two points because I definitely was confused while watching this, I am a bit more of an analytical type when it comes to movies so I kept asking questions about various events. I haven't seen any of the surrounding Terrifier content but I believe they elaborate more on the story and the character Art the Clown in other content.
The VVitch (2015)
9/10
This movie is the reason trigger warnings exist but it was masterfully done. This movie centers around a family of devout christians during the 1630’s moving to a secluded, wooded area to start their farm there, but they later learn there's an unwanted creature in the woods. Members of the family get slowly picked off and go insane and they blame the eldest child, Thomasin who they believe is a witch. This movie was based on real documentation from that time, they did do their research to make it right and I love that.
I only took off a point for the triggering content. Trigger warning for sexism, child abuse, animal death and harm, blood, gore, murder of infants, children and adults, sexual abuse/rape, sexualization of a minor, religious extremism, nudity, witchcraft/black magic and potential emetophobia (I say potential because I myself am emetophobic but the scene didn’t bug me too much really).
The Crow (1994)
9/10
I am absolutely in love with this movie, I saw it as an edgy fifteen year old and have loved it since. In the goth community, some consider this movie a big piece of media for goth culture.
Long story short, a man and his fiancé live in a crime ridden city and they get killed by some gang members. The man of the two, Eric Draven, is brought back to life and seeks revenge for the deaths of himself and his lover.
The only reason I tacked a point off is because it can be hard to follow at some points if you haven't read the graphic novel. I also may have removed said point because when I think too hard about this movie I think about the life of the main actor, Brandon Lee, being cut short by an accidental death during the movie. Quick infodump about that, in a scene where Brandon Lees character, Eric Draven is standing on the table of the gangs headquarters, the gang is instructed to shoot at him. One of the actors playing a gang member accidentally had real bullets and not blanks in their gun, shooting and killing Brandon Lee on the set. For the rest of the movie they had Chad Stahelski and Jeff Cadiente play his role as stand-ins.
The Craft (1996)
8/10
I really really love this movie, i watched this also as an edgy kid and immediately fell in love.
I always describe this movie as Mean Girls but with goth witch women instead of highschool popular gals. Our main character Sarah transfers to a new school and makes friends with the outcast witchcraft girls, Bonnie, Rochelle and Nancy. Sarah has telekinetic powers and the witches recruit her as the fourth member of their coven. Long story short, the girls (minus Sarah) become power hungry and theres a fight and then Nancy goes kind of insane. The moral is to not get overzealous I guess.
I tacked off two points admittedly because I found the plot semi cliche. I truly enjoy the characters, I love that it's a group of goth witch women who were outcasts with powers but it seemed cliche how they got a little crazy with it.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
4/10
I watched this movie in 2023, a while after it came out, and I personally didn’t like this movie as much as I wanted to.
The main character Ace, played by Jim Carey, loves animals and tends to have a thing for getting animals out of trouble, the movie is about him figuring out the mystery of the Miami Dolphins mascot being kidnapped. Later the actual players of the team Miami Dolphins are also going missing. After some time he finds the culprit was actually Lt. Lois Einhorn, who is also hiding an identity of her own.
This movie wasn’t it for me. I was confused about why Ace acted the way he did, he had goofy mannerisms that no one else in the movie possessed and I personally found that odd. Not to mention, there is a slight sprinkle of transphobia, they found out a trans woman was trans by ripping off her clothes to reveal her underwear, and showing that she was tucking. Overall, i didn't enjoy this movie. The best part was the feature of the band Cannibal Corpse, at the time they weren’t as popular so they featured them as a small band playing their song Hammer Smashed Face.
